Road House Rules, Part 1

You've heard of the Cider House Rules and the Pottery Barn Rules. Well, here are the Road House Rules...

"All you have to do is follow three simple rules.
One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected.
Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary.
And three, be nice...I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice."
- James Dalton (played by Patrick Swayze), Road House

For those of you who missed the movie "Road House" back in the late 1980s, it was the classic story of a good-hearted stranger who comes to a town ruled by a greedy aristocrat, ultimately resulting in an all-out battle of good guys vs. bad guys. It's filled with cliche dialogue, cardboard characters and a worn out story line. Swayze stars as James Dalton, a bouncer who is invited to take over at a bar that is being torn apart by unruly patrons. Upon taking over his duties as head bouncer, Dalton gives the above speech to his fellow bouncers.

As cheesy of a film as it may have been (although I personally like cheese), there is a lot of wisdom to be squeezed out of Dalton's rules, which I affectionately refer to as Road House Rules. This wisdom applies not only to how to handle unruly barflies, but how to face life in general.

Rule #1 is to never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected.

Our opponent in life isn't a person. It's not the President or the Republican Party. It's not Bin Laden or Al Qaida. It's not the thugs lurking in dark alleyways. Our opponent is our own ego. Never underestimate your ego.

For those of us in recovery, our ego has morphed into the addict and is cunning, baffling and powerful. For others of us, it is our depressed, neurotic self. It is our identity as a miserable victim. It is insane, but then so was Jim Jones, who led his followers to commit mass suicide. So don't underestimate the cleverness of it's self-destructive logic.

We must be pro-active to defeat our opponent. We have to consistently practice mindfulness to become aware of what's going on in our own minds. It is our tendency to get so caught up in the minutia of the past or future that we lose track of what we our thinking and feeling. We have to check in periodically with others to make sure we aren't going off the deep end. When our ego has no place to hide, it loses much of its grip on our peace of mind.