Sunday, June 21, 2009

Unspoken Support?

I was watching CBS Sunday Morning and was surprised to see that host Charles Osgood (pictured left) was sporting a rainbow bow tie (not pictured). While I am certainly no paragon of fashion sense (more like the poster girl for "what not to wear"), it wasn't exactly the snazziest looking tie. It seemed to be an attempt to make a statement.

Perhaps it was his way of celebrating the 40th anniversary (less one week, actually) of the Stonewall Riots. Perhaps he was showing his support for LGBT equality. A girl can hope, can't she?

I didn't hear him mention why he was wearing the tie. Perhaps it was just his unspoken support.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Next Star Trek Movie


There are unconfirmed rumors that the next Star Trek movie involves lesbian Captain Janeway and the LGBT crew of the Federation Starship Voyager on a quest to find Barack Obama, after it was discovered that the champion of LGBT equality was swapped for a conservative clone shortly after his inauguration.

Janeway suspects the Romulan warlord Lieberman is behind the deed. In her quest to restore Hope to the Federation, Janeway risks full out war with Romulans and the concessionary, spineless Democrats. Will the real Barack be found and equality established? Or will the defenders of hate continue their homophobic tyranny?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Codependent No More

I was once married to a man who claimed to love me, but then turned around and abused me and cheated on me. I was so codependent at the time (12+ years ago), so desperate for the love he promised that I endured years of abuse. It took a suicide attempt to make me realize that he was never going to give me the love I wanted and which he promised.

Three separations and one restraining order later, I managed to get on with my life. Since then, I have no tolerance for people who say one thing, then do another. I won't be a codependent spouse. Nor will I be a codependent constituent.

Like a lot of people in the LGBTQ community, I voted for Obama. I cried with tears of joy on election night and again during the inauguration. I thought, "At last, this nightmare is over. A new day has dawned."

But like many of you, I have been disappointed by Obama's failure to honor promises to the LGBTQ community. I have also been appalled by the Department of Justice's brief asking the Supreme Court not to review the case challenging the Defense of Marriage Act. And then there was Obama's little stunt where he offered minor (but not full) benefits for domestic partners of federal employees. No health or retirement benefits.

Obama was not my first choice for Democratic nominee. I wanted Dennis Kucinich. He had the courage of his convictions and was in favor of marriage equality. He also distinguished himself in a number of other votes, including his opposition to the war in Iraq.

But when it came down to Sen. Obama vs. Sen. Clinton, I chose Obama. I remembered all too well what happened when Sen. Clinton's husband was president. President Clinton courted the LGBTQ vote and then turned around and slapped us with Don't Ask, Don't Tell and the Defense of Marriage Act. I was determined not to let that happen.

And yet it has. The DOJ brief defending DOMA brought flashbacks of the 1990s (when I was transitioning from male to female) and with it a lot of angry, hot tears. He has stood idly by as one queer soldier after another is tossed out of the service for the "heinous crime" of being gay.

Some of my friends have encouraged me to be patient, claiming our turn is coming. They point to things he's said. To which I respond, "I see his lips moving, but all I hear is 'Blah, blah, blah.'" I hear a lot of promises and inspiring speeches, but what little action I see is counter to what he promised.

If the only action I'm seeing is a legal brief comparing my relationship to a man marrying his underage niece, then F*CK OBAMA and the horse (or donkey) he rode in on. I don't tow the party line, primarily because I'm an independent.

If Obama thinks we don't need equal rights and equal protection, then maybe he and his buddies in the DNC don't need our cash. The till is now closed. If he gets over his sick love-hate relationship with the religious right (whom he seems to be courting, but who couldn't give a whit about Obama), then maybe that will change. But at this point, he has zero credibility.

He can make all the grandiose speeches he wants. He can declare July to be National Transgender Month for all I care. It means nothing. It helps no one. We don't need any more talk from him. We need action. And not token gestures like his memo for federal employees. We need action that makes a difference. He promised us change we can believe in. I've seen no change. Don't expect me to believe. I am codependent no more.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Orbitz Ad Features HRC T-shirt and Pride Flag



I just happened to catch this Orbitz commercial on MSNBC. Note the HRC logo on the light blue shirt and the rainbow flag on one of the golf bags. Way to go Orbitz!

Friday, June 05, 2009

Arizona Takes Away Rights to Save A Few Bucks

This just in from Equality Arizona...

HB2641 passed the [Arizona] House last night, and is on Governor Brewer’s desk for signature or veto.

Inclusion of HB2641 in the general budget seeks to eliminate the domestic partner benefits granted to state employees last year, along with deep education cuts and other budget items.

The last chance to protect benefits for state employees is to Contact Governor Brewer RIGHT NOW!

Contact Arizona Governor Jan Brewer and ask her to veto the budget bills. Call her at (602) 542-4331 or toll free at 1-(800) 253-0883. You can email here by clicking on http://azgovernor.gov/Contact.asp and filling out the online form.

This could affect me directly because I quit my job a while back to take care of Eileen's elderly parents. If I couldn't get health insurance via her employer (State of Arizona), her parents would have been forced to out of their home and into a group home to get the round-the-clock care they needed. If the governor signs the budget, my health insurance may be in jeopardy.

I so wish Janet Napolitano had not left the governorship!! It's amazing what some Republicans will do to save a buck, no matter who it hurts.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Bridgebuilder/Storyteller: Peterson Toscano

I had the fortune of meeting Peterson Toscano a few months ago at the Transgender Leadership Summit. What makes that remarkable is that Peterson Toscano isn't transgender. He is a multi-talented gay man who is currently performing his one-man play Transfigurations -Transgressing Gender in the Bible.

Transfigurations
shines a well researched light on gender-variant people from the Bible. I loved it. It made me laugh at times and cry at times and changed the way I saw things. Imagine that. A gay man teaching me about transgender people. Who knew?

In taking on this project, he is building bridges between the gay/lesbian/bisexual communities and the transgender communities. He epitomizes what I have been blogging about on how story disarms audiences and shines a light into the dark places of prejudice. Story, when done right, speaks to our common humanity and brings the heart alive. Peterson does it right.

Before embarking on Transfigurations, Peterson gained notice with his earlier play Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo' Halfway House: How I Survived the Ex-Gay Movement. Before learning to love himself for who he is, Peterson had voluntarily put himself in one of the "ex-gay" programs. Doin' Time is a humorous and touching portrayal of that experience. I highly recommend you purchase a copy of the DVD.

Check out Peterson's website www.petersontoscano.com and keep an eye for when he may be bringing Transfigurations to your town. You won't want to miss it!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Changing the Conversation

As President Obama stands by idly watching Lt. Dan Choi get kicked out of the military for being gay (after continuously promising to end "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"), I am reminded once again how important it is for the rest of us to do our part. We can't wait for politicians to lead. We can't wait for politicians to end discrimination.

While we may not have the ability to directly change laws, we have the ability to change the tenor of the conversation. Lt. Choi helped to move the conversation by coming out as a gay man with rare and much needed language skills (he is fluent in Arabic). By kicking him out, the military is depriving itself of his skills which impacts our national security. Lesson: Homophobia is bad for national security.

Coming out is a powerful way to change the conversation. When people see how much LGBTQIA people contribute to society, it changes attitudes. When a straight person learns that the only mechanic they trust is gay, prejudices are questioned. When a straight person learns that the first person to donate a kidney a stranger is gay, prejudices are questioned. And what those straight people say to their family and friends changes.

Coming out is not without risks. I've lost countless friends. I've lost a few jobs. And I've known people who've lost their lives. But the same could be said for Alice Paul, Lucy Burns, and other women who stood up for women's equality. The same could be said for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, H.H. Dalai Lama and Cesar Chavez and others who stood up for equality and civil rights.

In the 40 years since the Stonewall Riots, we have made great inroads into equality thanks to Harvey Milk and others with the courage to come out and speak out. Polls continue to show increasing support for equal rights for LGBTQIA people. But as you know, there is still so much that needs to be changed. To change the world, we must continue to change the conversation.